Run Report Fayence – 7th May 2017

Peter Piper Picked a Peck of Pickled Pepper for Perpetch

Perpetch makes a big thing about his (Zimbabwe) army discipline and his mantra of the 7 Ps about proper planning preventing p*ss poor performance. Well, recite the tongue twister above enough and you will have a better insight into the pesky poop parking planning for the Perpetch Presidential parade.
And if I haven’t lost you yet, I will spell it out more clearly……to start a hash in a municipal car park in Fayence on the day of voting for the Presidential election and the day of a flower market was a test of ingenuity even before the r*n started. To be fair, the hash actually started more or less on time, with hashers parked wherever they could find space between Fayence and Fréjus. Perpetch insists that it was simply a form of special forces intelligence and creativity training, as opposed to a cock up. For you to decide whether to dispute the powers of our illustrious GM.
Anyway, the only hasher who seemed to be time constrained was Wetspot, who also happened to be Perpetch’s co-hare for the day. Wetspot was seen ambling to the start just as the pack of 7 runners set off up the hill, following a big loop back to the start. Cumalot was, as ever, leading at the early stages, whilst visitor Dominik proved that his home hash is in Nepal by not feeling the effect of uphill at all.
Loop over, it was time for traditional Perpetch hash territory – lots of long flat trails with lots of space between checks. This allowed the runners to stretch their legs. Well, it allowed Lonely, Dominik & Cums Kwicker to do so, whilst Pilchard, Jobsworth & Cumalot elected to keep Prestressed company, as he is recovering from a foot injury. It would have been rude to run ahead and leave Prestressed all alone in the sweltering heat.
And so the run wound through vineyards until the runners came across a main road with walkers walking the other way. There was a fiendish check on the road that confused everyone. There was no flour at all, so Prestressed & Cumalot decided to follow the walkers trail. Fortunately, Dominik showed more intelligence than all others combined and kept running down a road with no flour until he found another check. Clearly the hares had forgotten that the occasional blob of flour on the way makes for a good trail……
From here, it was but a short hop to the beer stop by a beautiful vineyard building. Despite being a decent 7km to this point, Lonely & Jobsworth felt a calling from the great God Gisbert and ran off to find Pedo and the beer car key. Off they ran towards the walkers, not expecting to find 4 distressed women who had driven their car into a ditch. Being the good muscular Samaritans they are, the 2 saviours managed to push the car out of the ditch, to the grateful thanks of the occupants, and without stopping to accept thanks they completed their mission by running on to recover the beer car key from Pedo and back to the thirsty runners who were waiting for liquid refreshment.
A long beer stop ensued, followed by a second half that wound along a dried up river bed and back to the start point, which was still full of pesky voters and market bargain hunters.
As for the down downs, the main memory is the terrible geographic knowledge of Gorgeous Edna and Cumalot being totally confused about the fact that the Dalai Lama comes from Tibet and not Nepal. To explain (in a Jobsworthian style), Gorgeous Edna started to make remarks about the Dalai Lama when Dominik mentioned he was from Nepal. Jobsworth was being particularly pedantic and nominated that the politically challenged Gorgeous Edna take a down down for this total misunderstanding, explaining that these are 2 different countries and that the Chinese, who think they own Tibet, get tetchy whenever the Dalai Lama is invited to other countries, which they would not if he were from Nepal.
Does this map clear it up? Nepal = “The Andrex Trail” of backpackers & mountaineers, attracted by Everest. Tibet = special visas needed to visit, highest railway in the world and Dalai Lama, who is definitely not a threat to the Chinese political machine (except when invited to visit Western heads of state).
Well, glad I got that off my chest.
As ever, I do not remember all down downs so the selective highlights are as follows:

  • Hares Perpetch & Wetspot for a great hash
  • Visitor Dominik
  • Returners Farty Bum & others (apologies, I do not recall who)
  • Gorgeous Edna for being geographically challenged& Jobsworth for confusing everyone with his explanation of the difference between Nepal & Tibet, now thankfully clarified above
  • Lonely & Jobsworth for saving 4 women from a ditch, with special memorial down down to Farty Bum for also driving into a ditch at a hash some 15 years ago
  • CumsKwicker for being confused with Never Cums once again & being given a birthday down down on her behalf
  • And, on that, Shit of the Week could only go to Farty Bum.

Thanks to the hares for a great hash in great weather followed by a great meal.
Onon to the next.

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