I'll bang'er Again – A Dogs Tail

RHHH R*n 858 – A Tall-ish Tale


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A Duchess Of Cambridge

It was the Nina, the Pinta and the Santa Maria all over again. I was sailing to the new world, from the land of the Crêpe to the land of the Grappa. A sea change: The Gulf of Genoa. The new world where our breath slowed, ending the hot canine breath of summer. Dog days when the sea convulsed, wine turned sour, hounds grew mad, and man became afflicted with burning fevers and frenzies, the brain boiling like an egg in a bone pot.
This, my first Hash in Italy. Oh, allow me: I’m “Dog of the Hare.” I arrived with nothing but my keen wits, my good looks, and my treasure trove of many words. Plus the Hoo-hah of hope. Oh yeah, least I forget, I had my mistress “Sex Club” in tow. In this new land, she says the best disguise was to be recognizable. She’ll be wearing a yellow T-shirt when she comes…tra la la. Vita E segreti del mare dall’impressione alla scomposizione visiva – If your mind is a matzoh ball, then everything looks like soup. (Loosely translated).
We washed ashore on the Italian Riviera, a land of savages and kings. In Albenga, we were met by our new handler: The Duchess of Cambridge. E la Sua visione del mondo – And His vision of the world. A person plans and God laughs. Duchess employed a loud voice, the international carrier of communication between cultures, as well as a colourful Berlitz of inscrutable gestures. We left all control to the Duchess, the mapmaker, the navigator. It’s not good to risk mutiny by one who controls the sea. What’s the difference between God and Duchess? God doesn’t think he’s on a mission from Duchess.
I was hashing on the Italian Riviera, sniffing and leaving canine messages around unpronounceable towns of – Albenga, Alassio, and Laigueglia. Our shelter for the weekend was the Sole Mare Hotel in Albenga, a town that boasted great hamlets. Food not ever far from our gullets, I ate like a galley slave, wolfing down enough nosh for an entire year. Sea food – eat. I’d never eaten a boiled egg. I soon found a boiled egg in the morning hard to beat.
Evenings were a dog-fight, laughing, singing, puking, the happy buffeting of each other’s ears like drunken puppies, late into the night until we all collapsed in a historic heap. Time can make between-the-leg Prunes out of even the most succulent of Plumbs.
Alls well that ends well. Gratefully, we got a lift home to Cannes from Fairy Plunger and we Bonded. He talked of his favourite resto on the Italian Riviera, in San Remo. He had my muzzle flaps flewing over his favourite meal: spaghetti and lobster. He drove us home, right to my fave sniff spot.
Later at home my mistress yapped: “Hey, Dog of the Hare, now here’s a coincidence: I’m reading Le Point magazine and guess what the Canadian Prime Minister and Barack Obama ate for dinner at Justin Trudeau’s favourite resto in Montreal, the Liverpool House? Spaghetti and Lobster!” On-On till next year.

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Riviera HAsh House harriers - red dress run

Legal Waiver

I know that running is a potentially hazardous activity. I should not enter and run unless I am medically able. I agree to abide by any decision of an official relative to my ability to safely complete the run.

I hereby certify that I am in good health and I assume all risks associated with running/walking in this event including, but not limited to: falls, contact with other participants, the effects of weather, including high heat and/or humidity, traffic and the conditions of the road, all such risks being known and appreciated by me.

Having read this waiver and knowing these facts and in consideration of your accepting my entry into this event, I, for myself and anyone entitled to act on my behalf, waive and release the Riviera Hash House Harriers, its officers,  agents and volunteers, all states, cities, counties, trict Commission or other governmental bodies or locations in which events or segments of events are held, all sponsors, their representatives and successors, from all claims or liabilities of any kind arising out of my participation in this event even though that liability may arise out of negligence or carelessness on the part of the persons named in this waiver.

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Renonciation Juridique

Je sais que la course à pied est une activité potentiellement dangereuse. Je ne devrais pas entrer et courir à moins d’être médicalement capable. Je m’engage à respecter toute décision d’un officiel relative à ma capacité à terminer la course en toute sécurité.

Je certifie par la présente que je suis en bonne santé et j’assume tous les risques associés à la course / marche dans cet événement, y compris, mais sans s’y limiter: les chutes, le contact avec les autres participants, les effets des conditions météorologiques, y compris la chaleur et / ou l’humidité élevées, la circulation et les conditions de la route, tous ces risques étant connus et appréciés par moi.

Ayant lu cette renonciation et connaissant ces faits et compte tenu de votre acceptation de mon entrée dans cet événement, moi-même et toute personne autorisée à agir en mon nom, renonce et libère le Riviera Hash House Harriers, ses officiers, agents et bénévoles, tous États, villes, comtés, Commission trict ou autres organismes gouvernementaux ou lieux dans lesquels des événements ou des segments d’événements sont organisés, tous les sponsors, leurs représentants et successeurs, de toutes réclamations ou responsabilités de toute nature découlant de ma participation à cet événement même si cette responsabilité peut découler d’une négligence ou d’une négligence de la part des personnes nommées dans la présente renonciation.

J’autorise tout ce qui précède à utiliser des photographies, des films, des enregistrements ou tout autre enregistrement de cet événement à des fins légitimes. Je comprends que les vélos, les planches à roulettes, les patins à roulettes et / ou les patins à roues alignées ne sont pas autorisés pendant l’événement et je respecterai cette politique. Je comprends également que les joggeurs pour bébés sont découragés pour la sécurité de tous les participants. Je suis conscient que la Fondation décourage fortement l’utilisation d’appareils audio personnels (iPods et casques MP3).