R*n Report #874 – 6th May 2018

Sadist Organises Super Perambulation Exercise with Lonely SOSPEL Sunday, May 6
Seven o’clock is when the alarm went off on a Sunday for Heaven’s Sake!  I really should do my tax return, but must do the HASH first!
Stranded   was ‘Sex Club’ who seriously missed the train, so ‘Iron Lady’ met only ‘No Satisfaction’ on the train in ‘Nice’ instead
Stupendous was the scenery from the ‘Valley of the Marvels’ train  along the old salt route from ‘Nice.
Saturdays and Sundays  they do an English commentary all the way to ‘Tende’.  Take it one day!
Oustanding was the run attendance,  given how far away the Run was and how early it started.
Obviously WRONG was the weather forecast, frightening off the faint-hearted with threats of storms
Overgrown was most of the trail from the outskirts of the town, direction up and out into the country.
Oblivious to what lie ahead were all the runners chasing  ‘Lonely’ as he powered off  in a cloud of dust up into the distance  shouting: ‘this is the best bit!’.
Suicidal was the loop we found we were trapped on, that is a vertical drop for advanced mountain bikers (see photo).  As ‘Padre’ later summarised: ‘The SuperMarket Trolley’ was stuck in the bushes and ‘Velcro’ stuck to the edge’. ‘Levrette’ epilated all the way down on her backside, needing to use her first-aid kit later  and, well, ‘Pilchard’ tried with and without machinery  (see photo).
Stupid English’ was what the Dutchman bellowed at us, worried  in case the likes of him were about to descend on us.  He and his wife had just biked down that route.
Scratched, freshly- scrubbed, but proud was ‘Levrette’ the only Superwoman to make it down that part of the trail.
Short-cutting after the obstacle course, to get on time to the beer stop.
Participating at the beer stop, at a picturesque ‘lavoir’  was a young local girl ( she was at least in her 30’s -ed) , lost in translation with ‘Cumalot.  She later drifted away into a promising future.
Pounding along the road, for the second half, we dropped down to the valley to a pictoresque  railway line crossing.
Pontificating about whether or not the word ‘Salaire’ came from the word ‘Sel’  is what Madame Mouton’s Big Brother Alan and ‘Padre’ spent their time doing as we crossed the bridge towards town.
Puzzled by the lack of marking on the last bit ,  the Runners made up their own route, dropping into the spectacular newly-renovated Cathedral on the way.
Eventually we re-grouped back at the car  park for the circle, pressed for time.
Eager to get ‘shit of the week’ again, dear ‘Farty Bum’got herself nominated, does it matter how?
Everybody really appreciated our Returner, Alan Burdis for representing his dear Little Sister and falling over himself to charm all the ladies
Ever-resourceful, ‘The Padre’ pulled together a neat and highly-amusing circle, closing on time.
Lunch was in the ‘2Go’ restaurant, overlooking the river.   These guys really understand ‘Customer Service’.
Lots of choice and flexibility for specific diets.  Worth a visit if you find youself in ‘Sospel’ again.
Levrette’ confided she was trying to be more lady-like, having been sent home from work  for watching porn and innocent kiwi ‘Iron Lady’ said she had to see a show to learn what porn was. The jury is out as to whether that is how she met the first Italian in her life (now her husband).
Lonely’ savoured every last minute of his tart from St Tropez, before legging it with ‘Velcro’ stuck close,  to get the train to ‘Nice’.
SOSPEL’!  What an experience! We thank our HARES for a scenic and challenging trail, leaving us to ponder what indeed is the European etiquette regarding pedestrian use of  mountain bike trails,  and even if  we followed it, would anyone else?
‘On on’ until the next run!!!! Get Ready….
Down Downs:
HARES ‘The Sadist’ and ‘Lonely’ – we loved it!
MUGLESS: ‘Pilchard’, ‘Long and Hard’, ‘No Satisfaction!’
Double-Entendre: ‘Levrette’
Competitive Running: ‘Cumalot’
Double- Residence: ‘Iron Lady’
Missing the Fort! : ‘Cumalot’ and ‘Padre’ up against ‘Tosspot’, ‘Dire Rear’ and ‘Marcel Marceau’
Visitor:  ‘Velcro’ from Surrey
Returner: Alan Burdis ‘Big Brother’
50 Runs and counting: ‘Lonely’
Shit of the Week: ‘Levrette’ for abusing the ‘Religious Advisor’ with beer!!!  Runner up:  ‘Farty B
See photos below:
The HARRIETS with Pilchard stranded on a vertical mountain bike trail…
Then Pilchard tries another way… with no success.

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