R*n Report 885 – Better Than The Dog's Boll*cks?

Run Report 885: Roquefort-les-Pins 23, Sept 2018
Hares: Supermarket Trolley & Idyl Weiss
This is about today’s beautiful run in the sun-sheltered woods that one passes on the road from Cagne-sur-Mer to Grasse and a favourite Riviera Hash meal stops, Pepperoni’s. I know it’s not about me but see if you can guess who wrote this!
I arrived last night from where there was heavy rain and a diurnal high of 12C, to land in 25C of Nice airport. I quickly relaxed (so missed buying milk for morning caffeine. Shop closed at 15min before 10pm!)
We arrived at the car park to be quickly accosted by one of the hares, where the first conflict arose. “I’ve been asked to collect tick”. “Sorry who are you?’ “I’m Idol” “How do you spell that?” “I..D..Y..L” “No that is pronounced ‘Iddle’” “Where are you from?” “Boston” “Aah, that explains it, you don’t speak english English!”
For the next 30 minutes I renewed friendships with those not seen for weeks.
At 10.30am in the GM’s absence, Padre quickly called us to order, introducing the stand-in RA, Dirty Dingus, and invited our two honourable hares, to introduce the trail, which our runners quickly attacked, followed by our plodders. In total we numbered about 27.
Dingus took the lead followed by two harriets, Sud Sucker and Wet Patch then Lonely, No Satz and Padre. The walkers included Sadist, Fairy Plunger, Mabelle (Michel), Duchess, Harley Davidson, Contessa, Virgin Mouth, Biggles, Georgeous Edna and Not Stupid.  Dingus would get the trail wrong so was caught up after we crossed (under) the road again via a dried riverbed. Walkers also crossed the road twice but were directed by W’s along a variant of this trail.  Wet Patch had run hard the previous day so held back. Padre got lost but was rescued by late-comer, Procul (also lost?) Confusion and Long & Hard arrived as we set off. Farty Bum turned up much later with relations (her cousin and husband), who we didn’t meet until the re-group.
The trail followed the road Southwest towards Valbonne for half a mile then headed south climbing the west side of the (dry) Vallon du Cournier in a large clockwise loop for the runners and a smaller anticlockwise loop for walkers until meeting the hare, just before crossing the road for the third time, this time northwards. The runners, expecting a drink stop on this road slowed down, fearing they had missed it, then continued on trail until they found a B sign after 5 miles, followed by Sadist leading the walkers from the opposite direction. Soon after a pack of walkers arrived from the opposite direction, under strong suspicion of short-cutting.
The drink stop was a pleasant reunion in wooded shade (average temp 26C) for about half an hour where we took photos before the RA called us on for the second stage of less than 2 miles to our car park opposite College Caesar. We had run and walked an approximate  ‘figure of eight’. Well done to the hares for keeping us on track and reasonably together, except for one minor incident. Last back were the hare, SuperM, and No Satisfaction, having gone in search of two experienced hashers, Padre & Procul, who had not appeared at the drink stop but got back before they did!
In the circle drinks were awarded to:

  • Hares
  • Worriers – Super M, and No Satz
  • Speed Walkers – Sadist, Michel
  • Beer discarder – Lonely
  • Returners – Virgin Mouth, Sud Sucker, Dirty Dingus, Lonely, Karen, Philip, Confusion, Farty Bum, Biggles, Seamen Monster
  • Virgins – Mabelle, Rob & Lynda (Farty Bum’s cousin)
  • S O W – Padre, by normal democratic processes of the third world (RA).

24 of us then ate at Pepperoni , where Duchess explained to us that this was not an Italian restaurant. When you spell it with 3 Ps it is a US corruption meaning spicy sausage. The Italian word ‘peperoni’ is a sweet pepper/ paprika in English!
Editors note.
Did you notice the dogs with the huge Bollocks near the start?
I whipped out my camera to take a photograph but they were ushered into the car before I could get around the side to get them in focus.
Anyway, as we were in hunters terrain where they shoot pigs, welcome to the Better than The Dogs Bollocks, run.
And add at the end……… that as Procul and Padre were separated from the pack and took a long time to catch up, (Mainly as they did a 2 km detour on the Walkers Trail, Ed) they used the Zen philosophy from the Stockholm Hash…………………………………………..

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