R*n Report 887 – Tie a rainbow of ribbons Round the Old Gendarme

Hares; Farty Bum with technical assistance, (Climbing specialists.)  Mad Max and Confusion.

Location; Villeneuve Loubet

Scribe; Laura Norder


Which one of the following statements is true?
The problem with quotes on the internet is that they are not usually true. William Shakespeare.

The problem with my run reports is they contain too much truth. Padre.

The correct answer is, of course, both of them.

A bit like the trail directions we received at the start. Did anybody understand them?
Keep reading and find out.

Agree with me
Here follows a true report of what happened except for the bits I have made up.
Farty Bum was anxious to have the run start on time and so we were called to order just before 1100 hrs.
At five past we were still being given our colour codes for the wool and ribbons which were a substitute for our normal flour system.
Follow the red wool until you reach a yellow ribbon, not necessarily around an old oak tree, where it is probably a check unless there is a black ribbon which is a false trail, Or, any combination of those colours.
There would be ropes to assist descent , or to suspend yourself from a tree before the wild animals get you, if you were left behind and it was getting dark

Did anybody understand that?
I think it was follow the red wool until you reach a ribbon and then it is either a check, or a false trail and don’t fall into the gorge.

 Did I mention we were also warned not to fall off the narrow path, into the gorge which is after the second hill. And that Sherpas had been out earlier in the week to attach fixed ropes and belay points. You think I am joking?
Not that I am suspicious but that looked like a lot of wool left in that big ball. So how much was placed on trail?
I used to be unbearably condescending and sexist but I told  Farty Bum there was no need to worry her pretty little head about it and 
the runners would manage fine..
So with all that out of the way, we set off down the stairs out of the car park, and towards the first check. There is a police car waiting and so Pilchard and Padre make a dash for it in the opposite direction towards the beach. Suspicious or what? Fastest I have seen them move for a long time. Onto the beach and next check. 
Left or right? Obviously not straight ahead in this instance.
As we were warned about the gorge after the second hill, we decided to head along the beach towards the hilly section and not the blocks of flats in the other.
Where did all these runners come from? They kept getting in my way as I head for the hills but they are only interested in running on the flat bit by the sea. Obviously not Hashing material. Posers all!
At the next junction we search for the check and realise there isn’t one. Where, why, how …….
Retrace our steps and find a cross marked with flour, which was not there earlier and a grinning Sadist pointing us in the other direction.
Our revenge will be sweet. More of that later.
Just a thought,  it is not premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.” 
Now we head back towards the town but alongside the river, (Did anybody else see this Duck, Ed.)
and the free range, running obstacles, are replaced with little ladies and little dogs, and big people with big dogs.

Cool Duck
The footwork now becomes a blur, a cross between Scottish dancing and Michael Jackson as we try to avoid all the little deposited parcels.
Through the woods and onto the flyover where a cunning check has us eliminating all options, and then with a long false trail as we ran past the well hidden ribbons. It took some time before we realised our error. Turn around, retrace our steps until we meet the walkers on our way back. Now down into the abandoned squatters camp. Where are they? Probably in the U.K collecting their Social Security payments by now.
More speedy footwork and back to the safety of the dual carriageway.  At least here you knew you were not going to step on anything you would rather not think about.
Next section; A sharp turn inland and up the hill. Is this the second hill? We are in a built up area so I am not too worried about falling into the gorge.
And then into the back country where the running is now back to nature.
Up, and more up, and then sure enough we hit the down section with the fixed ropes. See I told you I was not joking. You didn’t believe me, did you?
Then the section with the gorge, (So that must have been the second hill then? Ed.) 
( Dunno I have lost count, Scribe.)
A scramble around and down the hill to the cemetery, (Is this where they keep all those that go off the side into the gorge? Ed.) where the beer stop car, located in the car park, is welcomed. A smattering of walker have already arrived and broken into the car much to the annoyance of the couple trying to have a quiet, reflective, afternoon meditating, as the car alarm is really piercing.
Cums Quicker magically produces the car keys and switches it off. 
 Bur where is the grinning Sadist now?
It later transpires that he could not find the the trail, along with Long and Hard and Fairy Plunger.
An interesting first half with a few extra  unmarked kms. run due to the lack of ability of the runners to spot coloured ribbons.
However, we are now running late. (That is the only running some have done for a while. Ed) and the decision is made for the advance party of runners to head straight to the restaurant and occupy the tables whilst the beer car takes the drivers back to the start to pick up their cars. This then enables the runners to be taken back to their cars after the meal.
An interesting, varied trail with all types of terrain covered. Something for everyone? 
Except those wanting a circle and Down Downs. And Sadist, of course, as he spent ages looking for the trail and finally had to admit he had lost the plot!
That will teach him to laugh at us runners,
There are good days and there are bad days. This was one of them.


Related Posts

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Riviera HAsh House harriers - red dress run

Legal Waiver

I know that running is a potentially hazardous activity. I should not enter and run unless I am medically able. I agree to abide by any decision of an official relative to my ability to safely complete the run.

I hereby certify that I am in good health and I assume all risks associated with running/walking in this event including, but not limited to: falls, contact with other participants, the effects of weather, including high heat and/or humidity, traffic and the conditions of the road, all such risks being known and appreciated by me.

Having read this waiver and knowing these facts and in consideration of your accepting my entry into this event, I, for myself and anyone entitled to act on my behalf, waive and release the Riviera Hash House Harriers, its officers,  agents and volunteers, all states, cities, counties, trict Commission or other governmental bodies or locations in which events or segments of events are held, all sponsors, their representatives and successors, from all claims or liabilities of any kind arising out of my participation in this event even though that liability may arise out of negligence or carelessness on the part of the persons named in this waiver.

I grant permission to all of the foregoing to use any photographs, motion pictures, recordings, or any other record of this event for any legitimate purpose. I understand that bicycles, skateboards, roller skates and/or inline skates are not allowed in the event and I will abide by this policy. I also understand that baby joggers are discouraged for the safety of all participants. I am aware that the Foundation strongly discourages the use of personal audio devices (iPods and MP3 headsets).

Renonciation Juridique

Je sais que la course à pied est une activité potentiellement dangereuse. Je ne devrais pas entrer et courir à moins d’être médicalement capable. Je m’engage à respecter toute décision d’un officiel relative à ma capacité à terminer la course en toute sécurité.

Je certifie par la présente que je suis en bonne santé et j’assume tous les risques associés à la course / marche dans cet événement, y compris, mais sans s’y limiter: les chutes, le contact avec les autres participants, les effets des conditions météorologiques, y compris la chaleur et / ou l’humidité élevées, la circulation et les conditions de la route, tous ces risques étant connus et appréciés par moi.

Ayant lu cette renonciation et connaissant ces faits et compte tenu de votre acceptation de mon entrée dans cet événement, moi-même et toute personne autorisée à agir en mon nom, renonce et libère le Riviera Hash House Harriers, ses officiers, agents et bénévoles, tous États, villes, comtés, Commission trict ou autres organismes gouvernementaux ou lieux dans lesquels des événements ou des segments d’événements sont organisés, tous les sponsors, leurs représentants et successeurs, de toutes réclamations ou responsabilités de toute nature découlant de ma participation à cet événement même si cette responsabilité peut découler d’une négligence ou d’une négligence de la part des personnes nommées dans la présente renonciation.

J’autorise tout ce qui précède à utiliser des photographies, des films, des enregistrements ou tout autre enregistrement de cet événement à des fins légitimes. Je comprends que les vélos, les planches à roulettes, les patins à roulettes et / ou les patins à roues alignées ne sont pas autorisés pendant l’événement et je respecterai cette politique. Je comprends également que les joggeurs pour bébés sont découragés pour la sécurité de tous les participants. Je suis conscient que la Fondation décourage fortement l’utilisation d’appareils audio personnels (iPods et casques MP3).